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100 reasons why it’s very inappropriate to ask a woman when she’s going to have kids.


  1. She may be struggling with infertility.
  2. She may have had multiple miscarriages.
  3. She may have a medical condition preventing pregnancy.
  4. She may be undergoing treatments (IVF, surgeries, etc.) and not ready to share.
  5. She may have just received bad medical news.
  6. She may be dealing with endometriosis, PCOS, or other painful conditions.
  7. She may have experienced stillbirth or neonatal loss.
  8. She may not be physically able to carry children.
  9. She may be recovering from a difficult birth in the past.
  10. She may be protecting her mental health by not sharing her struggles.
  11. It can trigger grief over pregnancy losses.
  12. It can re-open wounds about past trauma.
  13. It can put her in an uncomfortable emotional state.
  14. It assumes she hasn’t already tried and failed.
  15. It ignores the private battles many women face.
  16. It can cause shame when she doesn’t have the “expected” answer.
  17. It pressures her to explain intimate, painful details.
  18. It risks making her feel inadequate.
  19. It disregards her right to heal privately.
  20. It can ruin her day by reminding her of what she doesn’t have.
  21. Not every woman wants children.
  22. It assumes motherhood is the ultimate goal.
  23. It disregards her personal choices.
  24. It places societal expectations above individual desires.
  25. It implies her life is incomplete without kids.
  26. It disrespects her right to decide for herself.
  27. It erases women who choose child-free lives.
  28. It can sound like you’re devaluing her current achievements.
  29. It presumes women exist mainly to become mothers.
  30. It suggests that her worth is tied to reproduction.
  31. She may be focused on her career.
  32. She may want to travel or study first.
  33. She may be building financial stability.
  34. She may be waiting until she feels personally ready.
  35. She may be nurturing other dreams besides motherhood.
  36. It undermines her goals by suggesting children should be her priority.
  37. It may pressure her to sacrifice career advancement.
  38. It ignores her current responsibilities and commitments.
  39. It makes her feel guilty for prioritizing herself.
  40. It implies ambition is less valid than having children.
  41. She may not have a partner.
  42. She may not want one.
  43. She may be in a same-sex relationship.
  44. She may be divorced.
  45. She may be widowed.
  46. She may be in a relationship where kids aren’t the plan.
  47. It can put stress on her relationship if overheard.
  48. It assumes everyone wants a “traditional” family structure.
  49. It ignores non-traditional paths to fulfillment.
  50. It’s invasive about her private love life.
  51. It reinforces outdated gender roles.
  52. It assumes all cultures value motherhood the same way.
  53. It can pressure women into life choices they don’t want.
  54. It can make her feel judged by family/community.
  55. It perpetuates the stereotype that women must have children.
  56. It minimizes diverse life paths.
  57. It disrespects women who live outside of cultural expectations.
  58. It reinforces patriarchy by prioritizing her womb over her will.
  59. It reduces her identity to one role.
  60. It silences women who resist societal pressure.
  61. It’s deeply personal and private.
  62. It crosses a boundary she may not want crossed.
  63. It assumes you deserve to know her intimate choices.
  64. It shows lack of sensitivity.
  65. It puts her on the spot.
  66. It forces her to defend her decisions.
  67. It can feel like an interrogation.
  68. It can lead to unwanted gossip.
  69. It disrespects her privacy.
  70. It assumes your curiosity is more important than her comfort.
  71. She may already be raising stepchildren.
  72. She may be fostering children.
  73. She may be planning adoption.
  74. She may already be an aunt/mentor and fulfilled in that role.
  75. She may be dedicated to community work.
  76. She may prefer nurturing through career or art.
  77. She may be caring for aging parents.
  78. She may feel her life is full without kids.
  79. She may see motherhood differently than you do.
  80. She may already be satisfied with the love in her life.
  81. It can make social situations uncomfortable.
  82. It can embarrass her in front of others.
  83. It can embarrass you if she reacts negatively.
  84. It risks awkward silence.
  85. It shifts the mood of a gathering.
  86. It can make her avoid you in the future.
  87. It can make her feel judged by everyone listening.
  88. It can create unnecessary tension.
  89. It can derail a pleasant conversation.
  90. It shows poor social awareness.
  91. She may not be ready yet.
  92. Her partner may not be ready.
  93. They may be saving for a home first.
  94. They may be waiting until later in life.
  95. They may have had delays beyond their control.
  96. It puts pressure on her biological clock.
  97. It assumes there’s a “right time” for everyone.
  98. It suggests she’s “behind” if she hasn’t already.
  99. It ignores that life paths unfold differently.
  100. Simply put: It’s none of your business.

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  • Why you should not ask.

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